Time heals all wounds; or does it?

August 7th, 2018

Time heals all wounds, negative feelings eventually fade away”

I have found  it difficult to determine the origins of this saying and I am not sure that time alone always heals.  Personally, I can recall  historical situations which still hurt to some extent and in my experience of dealing with workplace conflicts time may help some but is often not enough for others. Some may be able to reconcile the situation and move on quite quickly, others need more to do so.

Time may be enough where the wound is not so deep; perhaps where the issues were not so important or hurtful. Alternatively, other life  events may take over or have greater priority and some of us may generally be better at moving on than others.

In the conflict resolution work we do we are often seeking to enable people to move on from hurtful situations. This will inevitably be situations where time alone is not enough for at least one of the individuals concerned or where for businesses, individuals or others who are impacted, it is taking too much time given the impact on working relationships, performance and well being. Where this is the case mediation or conflict coaching can help.

The things that can arise in mediation or conflict coaching which are important in helping lessen the time and enabling wounds to heal are:-

  • A better understanding of why the situation arose in the way that it did which will help reconcile issues;
  • Exploring things from the other person’s perspective which will help parties understand motivations and correct assumptions (this is often key);
  • An appreciation of how individuals themselves may have contributed to the situation and the impact on the other person (this can be very powerful);
  • Receiving some sort of acknowledgement or (genuine) apology (often a defining moment!);
  • Individuals being given the opportunity to have their say, explain their perspective and have that understood and listened to (the importance of this should not be under estimated);
  • Enabling individuals to come to a realisation that things will not change and that thinking otherwise is a waste of effort and is damaging to them personally; and
  • Accepting that they can only change the way that they themselves react and respond (this is an important element of regaining control of the situation).

For more information on the various conflict resolution options that may help do contact us at [email protected] or visit our website www.resolution-at-work.co.uk.

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