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“The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.” (Dorothy Neville).
How often have you avoided a difficult conversation; avoided saying anything because you are worried about saying the wrong thing? I know I have, and occassionally that will be the right thing to do. However, if you are in the habit of avoiding difficult conversations with work colleagues then this is rarely the best policy. The difficult issue will not go away; it will simply become more difficult and create consequences that either you or someone else will have to deal with eventually.
It is a natural reaction to avoid situations that we think will be difficult. However the alternatives are much worse, including worsening performance problems, impact on other team members, increased stress or absence and unresolved conflict, to name but a few. The reality is that the conversation that you thought was going to be difficult is often not so difficult after all and with practice and preparation you can improve your ability and confidence to tackle those difficult issues positively.
Here are some useful tips:
If you would like more guidance and an opportunity to put these skills into practice then my next seminar; Having Difficult Conversations and How to Manage Them on 28th February 2013 may be of interest. For full details see www.alisonlove.co.uk/speaking-and-training/
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The report was very professional, it dealt with all the issues raised and was particularly thorough. It clearly took the time to fully understand all of the issues and background. It was complex but the report really helped to break it down and I’m hoping we can progress in a positive manner following the recommendations.
Group HR Manager, Energy Sector |
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It is not uncommon for conflict to arise between different teams. This can have considerable impact on both individuals and performance. A number of approaches can be used in this sort of scenario, including neutral assessment, team facilitation and group mediation.
Agreement could not be reached to enter into mediation in this situation and therefore coaching was an alternative support provided to one of the parties. The relationship between a majority shareholder and a shareholder/director was causing conflict. The relationship would be ok at times but disagreements would flare up from time to time and this was beginning to impact on the business.
May I simply say what a comfort to discover a person that really knows what they are talking about online.
You definitely realize how to bring an issue to light
and make it important. More people have to check this out
and understand this side of the story. I can’t believe you aren’t more popular since you most certainly have the gift.
Hi Emily
Thank you so much for your kind words, it makes it all worthwhile and I will certainly keep at it!
Best wishes
Alison
Hi there, I read your new stuff daily. Your humoristic style is witty, keep it up!